People who had substantive discussions with their doctor about their end-of-life preferences were far more likely to die at peace and in control of their situation, and to spare their family anguish. Above all, there are 4 simple questions to talk through with those who are ill...
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Tags: Atul Gawande, death, family, life, mortality, New Yorker, palliative care, suffering, wisdom
In the days before class, I found myself going through all of my possessions, clutching photos of family, friends and places, wishing the teacher had asked for 10 things instead of 5. But being the ever-dutiful student, here are the 5 I came up with...
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Tags: altar, Buddhism, connection, death, family, happiness, health, impermanence, Insight Meditation Society, life, tree, work
When a person dies, there are many things that can be said, and there is at least one thing that should never be said. The night after Alex died I was sitting in the living room of my sister’s house outside of Boston, when the front door opened and...
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Tags: Bill Moyers, eulogy for Alex, family, gratitude, hope, mortality, reflection, William Sloane Coffin, wisdom
When the volunteer coordinator called me, she said she had a woman who was "too mean to die" and that she trusted that I was the right person for her. With that introduction, I left with an open heart and open mind, intending not to judge, but send loving...
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Tags: awareness, being present, connection, denial, family, gratitude, hospice, Mary Oliver, mindfulness, mortality, reflection, relationships, suffering, When Death Comes
I’ve been practicing deep listening this week. I find it challenging enough to simply stop what I’m doing and turn around to face my kids when they’re trying to tell me something. In the grocery store, I even noticed that it’s entirely possible to walk in, navigate...
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Tags: illness, listening, parenting, Zen
If you can spare 15 minutes, take a look at this beautiful video about the organization founded by my teachers -- the Zen Center for Contemplative Care.
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Tags: awareness, being present, Buddhism, gratitude, mortality, sickness, suffering, wisdom, Zen
Many friends have written to me after my post on advance directives, saying that they just can’t seem to get around to signing one — even though they recognize how important it is. So I thought I'd share the inspiring "Ethical Will" of my friend Vivian Shaw...
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Tags: advance directive, ethical will, family, finances, hospice, living will, values, will
The nine contemplations on death come from an 11th century Buddhist scholar. They are meant to help us explore the inevitability of death. This week, I'm trying an experiment in which I read the 9 contemplations to myself before I sit for ten minutes of quiet reflection.
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Tags: awareness, being present, breath, Buddhism, contemplation, meditation, mindfulness, mortality, reflection